So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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