Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize