There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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