I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
