i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
