chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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