wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
