was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
false alarm, still single
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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