Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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