You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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