You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
