Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
