That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
