I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
