Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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