Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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