I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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