): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
