well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize