this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
