if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
