Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
