I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's never too late to be topless.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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