yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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