it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
