just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
