i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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