Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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