just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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