how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
