there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
