Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
