I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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