You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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