yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
