Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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