dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
