From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
