Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
