i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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