at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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