I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
