She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
