From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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