"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
