We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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