the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it penis luge time yet?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
