haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
