I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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