he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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