u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
