it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
