i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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