it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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