bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
