Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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