I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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