I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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