he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
