Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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