Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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