so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
