The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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