Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
