So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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