i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
