Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
