At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize