yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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