I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
