On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
