I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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