I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
