I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize