the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
