May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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