i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
