Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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