I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Where did you get a picture of my penis
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
