he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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