Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
