I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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